The Ideal Woman

This is sure to be an interesting post, so let me dig out my notebook and see what I wrote, exactly:

She must be attractive. I mean, I’m going for an ideal here, and it’s likely I wouldn’t exactly gravitate towards someone who I don’t find attractive. It’s a must.

As far as what qualities are attractive to me, I’m pretty lenient. She should be all-around smaller than me. Wearing glasses is a turn on, though she shouldn’t need them to look/sound smart. The two necessities for me to really find someone attractive, though, are gorgeous eyes and an equally gorgeous smile. If she doesn’t possess those, she’s not the ideal.

And now for the really important stuff: what’s in her head.

She must have personal integrity: she must be brutally honest and she must practice what she preaches. She can’t be afraid of the Thought Police or conventional wisdom or all of that; she’ll act independently of such rules. Now, that’s not to say she’s some sort of dictatorial brat, but she’ll feel free to speak her opinion about anyone and anything, others be damned.

She must also think of humans as inherently good. That is to say, she doesn’t think we’re all corrupt and greedy and evil inherently. She believes, instead, that everyone has a capacity for good and evil, but the good came first, and other influences corrupt individuals, not man as a species. She wholeheartedly believes original sin to be a farce, for if man were truly evil, we’d be stuck in the Dark Ages with none of the technology we have now. In a nutshell: she believes man is good with traces of evil, rather than evil with traces of good.

The corollary to that is that she’s an agnostic/atheist, or even a deist (I’d look forward to a debate with a deist, actually! It brings a smile to my face to think of that conversation). I don’t think I’d be able to coexist in a relationship with a religious dogmatist, even if they were “moderates”.

The next quality is that she must be worldly: she must have a vast appreciation, knowledge, and, above all, curiosity for the earth and all the cultures it houses. This is essential since I am part of a very diverse and worldly family, and I have an extreme desire myself to travel the world. To have a partner that shares that passion and desire is essential to me; for someone to be otherwise makes hem seem like an ignoramus or arrogant American. Again, the corollary to this is that the ideal woman is NOT an American, since it’s significantly more likely that she’d be more engaged and curious about the world if she was from somewhere overseas. And, plus, discussing the differences in culture from her nation and mine would be entertaining and supremely enlightening. (This isn’t to say my dream girl isn’t American, but, again, it’s more likely that someone from abroad would be more knowledgeable about the rest of the world)

She also must be intellectually inclined, eschewing stupid things and stupid people. She thinks critically and for herself, and swears by truth and fact. She seeks constantly to broaden her knowledge, and, consequently, is a voracious reader. She loves debate and discussion, knowing that the greatest way to gain knowledge is through debate with opposing viewpoints. Is masterful at making and holding arguments (no, not about things like who’s going to do the laundry, things like political issues!), and isn’t easily swayed by another person’s argument. It follows, then, that she’s a good speaker, and a particularly good writer.

She must be competent. I don’t accept anything less.

She also should be an artist in some way, though it doesn’t have to be her job. Whether she paints, plays music, or writes, doing something creative is a must. I don’t know why, but it makes her seem multi-dimensional.

And, the most important one of all: she has to love life.